I'm just a guy at a house

It's a long story. :)

I got these amusing thoughts in a spam email today. Far be it from me to suggest that spam actually has some redeeming value, but I giggled at these for a while.

  • Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?
  • Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
  • Who gets to keep the pennies in a wishing well?
  • If you went back in time and killed your mother would you disappear the moment you killed her?
  • If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
  • Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
  • If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
  • How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
  • When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother?
  • Just what was the "Baby On Board" sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to hit in case of an accident?
  • Does Hawaiian Punch come from Hawaii?
  • If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
  • Can you cry under water?
  • If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?


FO said... 2:50 PM  

Here are some answers:

1. I saw a guard at an airport one morning literally circling through the metal detector over and over. It was odd. Not sure why.

2. Violence works well when it is well thought out.

3. I heard somewhere that a poor job of english translation was behind Donkey Kong. Maybe Kong was supposed to King. How about that? In any case, Donkey Kong is an ape, not a monkey. Just like a tortoise is not a dog (Borat).

4. You can cry underwater.

5. Banks aren't trees. Rivers have branches too.

6. The girl would be called Baby Girl or maybe My Baby's Momma's Baby.

7. Assasinations are murders for political purposes. If you make a gun that shoots knives, does it stab or shoot people? (It shoots them. You have to hold the knife as you injure someone to stab them. My rule.)

8. Captain Crunch would be a possibility.

9. The owner of the well keeps the pennies and may donate them if they like.

10. Acme products don't work and he keeps buying them because it is funnier that way. Why does Charlie Brown always try to kick the football with Lucy? Why does Tom always chase Jerry if he just ends up getting hurt? (Ask Brenden.)

11. Baby on Board signs were made to make money, not to save babies.

12. I don't know where Hawaiian Punch comes from. But you can ask your friend if he'd like some punch. If he says yes, you can hit him. Ha!

You're a great logician. :)

Me, briefly

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This is the story
of a man named Darrell
who was working
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of his lovely family
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